I’m five weeks into my seven-week retreat in Asheville, and many experiences have amazed, baffled and tested my consciousness. I understand many of my past journeys have been about isolation in order to experience divinity; those lifetimes spent as a shaman or monk, when nothing else mattered but finding the truth. Fortunately, we don’t need to spend a lifetime in the outback or in the Himalayas anymore; the Shift is speeding everything up for us. Here’s a rundown of what has occurred so far in my time on the mountain:
I did not expect this to happen to me in such a profound way, nor did I expect it so soon. Experiencing other timelines, dimensions, and expressions of my own consciousness has been both exhilarating and challenging. I now have a much deeper understanding of how consciousness functions, how the universe functions, and how to tap into experiencing multiple dimensions at the same time. Because this is new to my experience, I’m having some difficulty with how to incorporate this into my life stream. I feel very strongly that I have been presented with this access in order to teach people what it is, how to access it themselves, and how to deal with walking between worlds. Integration is a big challenge, physically, emotionally and mentally. I want to assist with this transition, as I sense many folks will be experiencing this in the next year. It is a vivid and profound state, but it comes at a cost (doesn’t everything in this process?)
This is a new one for me, and I love it. My guides are beginning to present a gorgeous fragrance to me during meditation. It’s intoxicating – like a cosmic gardenia. It seems to open up my heart as well, I feel that divine swell of unconditional love when the smell is around me. It’s like having a little 5D spa time.
This is a tricky one. I need to write about the difference between astral/akashic travel and portal travel, just to clarify the experience. On the morning of the 11/11/11, after an incredibly lucid dream about bridging dimensions, I went into meditation. When I began to play with the Arcturian corridor, my high heart felt that overwhelming pull upwards which many have felt. It’s like a giant magnet is pulling on your heart center. This has been happening in the last two weeks when I play with a portal. As I traveled through the corridor, past journeys presented as well as visions of the New Earth, and often it became golden light, geometry and crystalline cities. When the sensations began to get very intense, I saw two beings opening the doors to a golden mummy-like chamber. It was apparent that I was going to step inside. The pull to “go home” was immense. I immediately said “No thank you, I’m not doing it that way” and drifted from that vision. The technology aspect, the “get in the chamber” scenario was not what I wanted. Perhaps it was intended to end my claustrophobia once and for all. Perhaps it was to face that lifetime which ended in a similar way. Regardless, I wasn’t ready for it, and asked for it to present in a different way later on.
Did I miss my shot at walking through? Absolutely not. I trust my Higher levels with my process. The sensation of “here we go” did not leave me, so perhaps it was the examination of preparedness, willingness and sense of duty to Gaia that I wanted to review. It’s an extremely tempting sensation to go all the way home. But I still feel I have more to experience here, even though the path of wayshower is bloody ridiculous at times.
I moved outside to join in the anchoring ceremonies for the 11:11 East coast and the Arkansas Solar disc activation. During the 2 hours on the cold ground, I connected with the influx of Divine Love and the massive amount of global intention to anchor it. This energy feels so etheric, so subtle and fine, that I came to a new understanding of photonic light. My body was exhausted by the week’s preparation and portal travel, so I abandoned any further meditations for the rest of the day. I kept myself in stillness for the day’s intentions.
In order to propel us into a unified frequency of Oneness, the particles of consciousness behind/in/below the cellular level must be altered in a dramatic way. The light itself does not feel dramatic, it feels sublime, absolutely peaceful, absolutely present in oneness. (This is tricky work in a density that insists on tangible proof of the Shift.) To transform us to a higher state, the light will leave no stone unturned in the Ascension process. Shadow selves, kharmic baggage, unresolved issues which need forgiveness, relationship reviews and status quo turmoil will be popping up for a visit on their way out. Learn how to release them and seal up the memory of it with unconditional love. Buy yourself some Kleenex and ask for help when you need it. There are many good teachers and counselors available now.
Unconditional love has some beautiful side effects. I spent all of last Wednesday in love with everything. Watching leaves spin and float down from the trees, thanking Gaia, loving the squirrels, touching the rocks, talking to the mountain, the forest, the etheric realms, my coat, the apples I ate; everything was participating in the big love affair of my lifestream. I was in this dreamy state all day, and now I have hours of that intensity hit me like waves. It’s incredibly sensual, divine and poetic.
I understand that I was guided here to do some deep self examination and exploration. But HOLY COW does it really need to be this intense? My Higher Levels laugh and say, “You wanted this!” And it’s true. I did want to strip away everything and discover the deepest truths about myself. I wanted to eliminate all the shadows and doubts during a time designed to do just that. The timing is both awful and perfect. I’ve just ended an eight year relationship, and left everything comfortable and familiar back in Chicago. It’s been a total immersion in discovering the truth about myself and my role in this reality. Everything has been broken apart, and one by one the fragments of myself are being examined. It’s keep or toss time. Some facets are valuable to the rest of the journey here (keep) and some are not serving me at all (toss). I sense if I can master getting through this, I’ll be able to assist others when they hit this step (so they don’t have to give up everything to learn it by themselves). My Higher levels tell me it is vital to the process. The stripping away of money, job, family, friends, home, town and all things egoic has been heartbreaking and potent. I am deeply grateful to the people who have faith in my journey and have been encouraging me during this time. Thank you.
I have so many ideas for new projects and collaborations that I’ve had to make lists to keep them all anchored. Some will not come to manifestation, but it’s fun to see them on the page. I sense some of these are hitting other people’s lists as well, so I trust the collective is feeling the New with this influx of energy. Creativity is the good stuff in this transformation. Write it down, give it to others, or at least send it some love and gratitude for showing up.
The line between dreaming and dimensional reality is getting blurry. Sometimes I am aware of being awake and participating in my dreams. I feel the experiences physically – my eyes are open, people touch me, I have conversations and sensations. But I’m also aware that I’m dreaming. If dreams are visions of a 4D reality, then the thinning of the veil must be causing this (common) symptom. It certainly is growing more intense.
More movement, intense presences, amplification, more beings dashing around, new colors, shadowy movement, wavy energy and glimmering vortex-type fields of energy. I’m just watching this occur, there’s no need to speculate or fortune-tell on why it is accelerating.
Nature, the greatest blessing
It is divine to awaken to birdsong, to listen to wolves howling and calling to each other across the mountain at night, to see flocks of wild turkeys sputtering around the forest, to see Madame Doe get comfortable with my presence near her fawns, to have hawks suddenly soar overhead, to greet the trees and share their transformation, to climb over giant granite mountains, to see thousands of stars and other night-sky visions, to sleep in the wash of moonlight, to experience silent grace, and dwell in the absolute poetry of Gaia.
More Lessons to go
Even with all of these divine lessons accumulating, it is entirely possible that I will return to Chicago next month. The fantasy of finding a giant tribe of lightworkers living in an energy vortex has faded a bit. Asheville is lovely, the people are nice, and the vortex is a great amplifier for whatever you have going on. After strolling all of downtown in 2 hours, including a stop for lunch, my mojo sank for this new adventure. I realized how much I enjoy Chicago’s diversity, culture, giant lakefront, architecture and busy-ness, even though much of it is chaotic and downright crooked. So now the question is: what will I learn by surrounding myself with like-minded folks in a “Shift-safe” town? Is there co-creation available in Asheville? Are there enough opportunities? Why are so many lightworker events unadvertised in order to hide from the Bible belters? Do I get to be free from density at last, or is it an illusion? Is there more transformation, more assistance to incorporate, more changes to implement in an uber-urban hub like Chicago?
I’m exhausted by those kinds of decisions right now, so I’ve asked my entourage to work on my next move. Meanwhile, I’m back to my lessons on the mountain.
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