Self-Love: a key to transformation

heartAnyone can accomplish the love of something external. Friends, family, lovers, partners, pets, God, places, careers, homes, plants, hobbies and things outside of ourselves are easy to love. But when these things are stripped away, as many of us are experiencing during the ascension process, we get to take a look at the ultimate lesson of the Shift – the love of Self.

That may sound contradictory to much of the New Earth talk of service to others, unity consciousness or I AM presence. Service to Self and love of Self are two completely different things. We’re not talking about caring for yourself while disregarding the rest of this matrix.

This final goal of unity, making choices for the highest good of all concerned, cannot be attained by the external actions of a population that does not adore its own company. Let me explain.

In the vibration game of ascension, the external world is affected by a rise in frequency on the planet and in the consciousness of individuals. Collectively, we have done quite well in moving the Shift along at a pretty good pace. As the Earth’s frequency increases – dramatically in the next 10 months – adjustments within the body, mind, emotions and egoic levels are made to match that vibration. The demands of this new light (frequency) wreak havoc on the lifestreams of the awakened. Not only does it remove anything which does not fit any longer, but it reveals deep, dark places where the same questions are proposed: When are you going to love yourself? Why don’t you love yourself? Why am I not present with my own self?

Unconditional within, unconditional without

The lesson of unconditional love must be learned within before anything authentic and effective can manifest permanent change in our reality. The lifting of the veils, the no separation we have all been talking about, reveals the truth of everything. Transparency will never be achieved in the external world until we are able to be transparent ourselves. When you’re relying on external actions (look how loving I am acts of service) or people (they love me) to prove that you are embodying love, you have more work to do.

Relying on external outlets for our love has brought about all kinds of deep issues in the HUman experience. Giving away love and receiving love as verification for our worthiness became survival mechanisms. Devotion to the external became habitual and fear-based. Self-hatred led us to choices based on safety because we were not okay with ourselves. The world is what it is today because we are not functioning from a state of love. We are trained to believe we are not enough. Our media, entertainment and marketing feeds on that disharmony. Now that we have awakened, we must take responsibility for all of the false constructs and agreements we have made in the past, and change them.

How do you identify Self-hatred?

Hatred may appear to be a term that should be reserved for darkness. Get over it. It applies to 99% of the population in one form or another. Stand in front of the mirror naked. Or put yourself in a room full of people you dislike for a day. Both might reveal a subconscious flicker or two of “I don’t like (fill in the blank: body part? attitude? behavior? any “shoulds” popping up? “Those people”?) Whether it’s in the mirror or reflected in the mirror of the outside world, your reality – which you are creating – might be riddled with examples of self-hatred.

C’mon, I don’t hate people or myself

Impossible, right? You don’t hate anything, you’re ascending and full of light and love. Yes, you are. You are also an incarnate being with amnesia experiencing a dimensional Shift. There are ongoing lessons to be learned until we embody our Higher Self. That isn’t going to happen until the lower expression and the higher expression match vibration, or at least come very close.  There’s an opportunity to achieve that, and there’s an opportunity to create the change we would like on this planet. But unconditional love means no conditions, and peace cannot be created by beings relying on external stimuli for love. Let’s not be hypocrites, we’ve explored that enough. Saying and doing one thing, while we hide another doesn’t create change. It creates disharmony and deceit. Exposure and disclosure are on everyone”s wish list, which means exposure and disclosure are imminent for each one of us during this Shift.

External sources of love, be gone

Let’s use our imaginations and take away everything external which provides security, safety and love (if this hasn’t actually happened to you yet.) Imagine your reality, right now. Now take away the external sources of  value, love and success: the job, money, home, lover, partner, friends, belongings, guides, strip it all away. Get fired, lose the mortgage, get dumped, empty the bank account, get alienated from friends, family, everything.

Not for a day or two; give yourself a real challenge, Masters.

Imagine 3 months. 6 months. A year. Make it feel like those things are never coming back.  However long it takes to feel uncomfortable, lonely, abandoned, lost, angry, whatever it takes. Take yourself away from all of the external sources of empowerment.

Close your eyes and do this right now, the big “what if I lost it all.”

You might be feeling a little uncomfortable. Dig through the initial layers of self-coaching (“something will happen to fix this”) and see what lurks below.

Let’s take a look

It’s scary, isn’t it? Your focus goes straight to survival, to fixing the problem and trying to make life the way it was before. The mental, emotional and egoic bodies start to freak out. They’ve been anchored in survival mode and think the outside world is where the Self should get verification. Loss of external security can make us feel vulnerable and exposed.

Removing our external ties to identity exposes our bottom line: we don’t know how to be unconditional with ourselves. We need verification, approval, something to show us how good we are or that we have value. That lack of unconditional Self-love grows over the course of lifetimes, anchoring self-hatred in the subconscious.

Self-hatred is a toxic form of fear.  It reveals itself in our lifestreams; sometimes it’s subtle and sometimes it kicks us in the teeth.

When challenged with external factors, Self-hatred can manifest as:

Blaming the external world: relationships, family monad, friendships, coworkers, global elite, history
Blaming the Self: choices, decisions made, personal ahaskic, past lives
– Self-destruction: worthiness issues, why bother trying, everything is lost, ego tripping on win/lose duality
– Harming the body vehicle: conscious or unconscious destructive or controlling habits, drinking, smoking, drugs, apathy, overeating, undereating, obsession with appearance, perfectionism
– Obvious mirror behavior: anger, rage, manipulation, deceit, conceit (ironic, isn’t it), controlling behaviors, preaching, duality
– Health issues: Too many to list. Subconscious disapproval breaks down DNA strand telomeres, cellular structures and the energetic flow of the body.

If you see some familiar behavior in that list, take a breath. Your ego is going to get uncomfortable with the idea that you don’t love yourself unconditionally. If you see behavior on the list that applies to others, dismiss the diversion. Don’t worry about other people’s journeys right now, leave that to the counselors. This is about you. Make a list of  emotions/reactions you felt in the visualization, or are finding in your life right now, and take a look at them. Don’t judge them, get a grip on what is really going on.

If everything seems to be breaking apart right now, you are on track with the Shift. If it is extreme, even better dear Master. You created this because you know how important it is. You are responsible for your transformation back to Self-love. Accepting that the ego may have been lying to you about self-hatred is a great first step.

I’ll continue this series next week since it is so predominant in my sessions right now. Meanwhile, start examining why it’s possible you don’t love yourself unconditionally. This is the transformation we all must embrace if we’re to effectively create a harmonious world in the near future.

If you’re having a difficult time with loss or the clearing phase, consider my counseling services.

If you find these articles helpful, consider thanking me with a donation.


9 comments on “Self-Love: a key to transformation

  1. ‘Self-hatred is the HUman experience’ – as someone who was bulimic for the best part of fifteen years, I can certainly attest to that. But that was then and I am not that person any more. What happened as I let go of the bulimia though was 20 years of letting go of everything else – relationship, financial security, steady job, stable home etc. etc. etc. nothing unusual though at this stage of the journey.

    But this is a call to go even deeper. There is even more to let go of. And what would happen if I truly lost it ALL?

  2. Funny how it works, isn’t it? Avoid the lesson and it pops up again in different form. The Higher Self will keep setting up the situation until we realize what is going on. One of the great things about this time is being able to (finally) recognize when I’m setting up the scenario, the same lesson. I catch myself now, and point right at it and say, “I know you! You’ve been here before!” Then I can dig into the lesson before it digs into me! Self-love has been a huge lesson, and keeps revealing more layers of doubt, fear or self-judgment. Avoiding it is unwise if we want authenticity in the world. It’s the key to creating what we desire.

    The good thing is, we don’t have to “process” things like we used to. Clearing is such a gift. These last vestiges of old self can linger as long as we need them to. It’s like the outer world: war will be around as long as we need it to be, until we learn the lesson. These little visualizations can help us locate those lower vibes still haunting us, and transform them. We don’t have to be perfect, we just have to genuinely be able to love and respect ourselves. Self-love is great preparation for when things get chaotic, too. You train yourself to be centered within and say, “No problem, I’m good. All is well.”

    Much love and light,

  3. Hi Sandra. I read your website all the time and like it so much. Nothing agrees with my heart as your site does. I wanted to ask you a question, something concerning quantum physics. Do you ever deal with or think about that? If so, there is a thought that came to me that I’d like to share with you. Wish I could donate but I am layed off from work. Wishing you much peace and love in your life.


  4. Blessings Terri,

    Thank you for the compliments, they are a lovely donation 🙂
    My first book explores quantum physics, specifically the zero point field and creativity. It was the foundation of my writing on creative consciousness.

    In love and light,

  5. Here is my question, or observation. I was reading a book, one of many, on quantum physics. The particular part that sticks in my mind was the unpredictability of the photon, being in more than one place at one time, the very nature of its unpredictability as to the outcome in any given situation until the final result is seen. Also, the seemingly identical characteristics of a photon as it is captured in these seemingly separate but same place at the same time, past, present, and future combined, situations. It made me wonder where the HUman, God-man, lies in this reality. If you want to post this you may, if not I’m fine with it but I just wondered your thoughts. If we are, indeed, incarnate in this reality with a veil of forgetfulness, what I feel in my heart to be creator gods in training, in a situation where very few realize this, creating reality constantly with our thoughts – I guess thoughts with intent would be the way I would describe it, could we be the unpredictable photon in the “quantum equation” so to speak? We are after all light and vibration, color, all exists within it. I have always known unity consciousness in my heart and always known it to be true. I never knew why but just knew it was the truth. I always understood that we create our reality individually and as a collective. So if we are this unpredictable radical in the equation, could it be that by individually changing our thoughts and the power of positive over the power of negative, light always illuminates the dark, could it be this that could change our reality? A few people whose thoughts affect the other photons, so to speak, other consciousness around us as photons carry the same qualities?

    To most people I know this seems so far out there, they would look at me with a blank stare. I get most of my books from the library but would love to read yours. Can I download it as an e-book?

    Sandra, thank you so much for your insight. I have read and read, there is just so much out there and at the end of the day none of it holds water to your insight. I truly mean that.


  6. Blessings Terri,

    Thank you for the questions on photons; I’m preparing an article on the photon belt right now so this is well-timed. Photonic light, the photon belt which we have entered, is in alignment with the center of the galaxy. This band of intense photonic energy radiates out from the central sun (center of the galaxy) and contains that unpredictable everywhere-all-at-once characteristic that we know as quantum, zero point energy. The Unified Field – zero point field – is where everything is created in our multiple realities and dimensions. It is our connection to Source, to God consciousness. This is why meditation is so effective in connecting us to Source and our higher levels; by reconnecting with the Field in stillness, we reactivate our natural state of being, which is in alignment with the pure creation, pure creativity of Source. The Field is everywhere, it is the fabric of the Universe.

    HUmans have been away from this alignment with photonic energy, or zero point field, for thousands of years. As we travel through the photon belt (we’re already in it) and get an uber-blast of photonic light in December with the alignment, our cellular structure gets a huge charge of photonic light. For some, the cells cannot integrate this new light fast enough, and we’re seeing that in the many dis-eases and symptoms which start to shut the body down. it’s just too much for some structures to support. For others, the photonic blast causes the cells to evolve, amplifying new structures to accommodate the new light.

    It also causes the awakening phenomenon by shocking super sub-atomic particles into the an evolutionary process. Our cellular memories of what we used to be are activated, the body begins to remember, and our awareness begins to expand. We also begin to recognize that particles are in complete neutrality until thought makes them something – we always create our reality, as does every other being in this Universe. Collective agreements create collective established realities, like “this is an apple” or “I have no power.” It is cooperative exchange of agreement, thought, intention.

    Everything is the unpredictable part of the equation. All particles are neutral until commanded otherwise. Because a collective decision was made to shift humanity and this planet into ascension, we’re taking advantage of this window to amplify harmony, compassion, love and light on this planet. The decision off-planet was made a while ago. The Mayan calendar tracked 16.9 billion years of evolutionary cycles. Our evolution is inevitable, it’s how we will experience it that is left in the free will category. When HUmans collectively intend to shift this reality into one of light, we create waves in the zero point field which always answers our thoughts. We reached critical mass in 2010. We have the 11% awakened that we need to ascend, it’s a matter of how long do we want/command this reality to be as it is.

    Higher vibrations always trump the lower, so the more people resonating in love, the faster and easier we will all get through the Shift. This is why groups like Children of the Sun, with thousands of members, or TM groups, or many others, are creating huge accelerations in the ascension process through focused intention in a meditative state. We are the key to our own reality, just as any other race is the key to theirs, regardless of dimension or area of the Universe. As I wrote in The Creator State, “Humans contain all the answers they will ever seek within themselves. In the absence of doubt, we are all God.”

    In love and light,

  7. Good morning and blessings to you too, Sandra,

    Thank you so very much for your wonderful answer to my question. Your gift of expression is truly amazing. I think I need to read your book! My journey, as I’m sure is the case with everyone else’s, has been long. I want deeply to contribute in a positive way to this amazing shift that is happening. What an incredible time to be here! Having an explanation to help consciously understand what I know in my heart to be true is a huge help. I truly look forward to your article and, again, thank you so much for taking the time to answer me.

    With great respect, love, and light.


  8. I did the Children of the Sun meditation tonight and loved it. Thanks for the heads up on sites such as this. I have done a few such meditations, the latest being the Hathors pituitary gland attunement. I had an amazing result from it. I look forward to more.

    You make me smile!


  9. Glad you enjoyed the Children of the Sun meditation. Their Ki of Life and Avatar Yoga trainings are powerful for lightservers.
    Tom Kenyon’s work with the Hathors is beautiful, I listen to them often.

    In love and light,

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